Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Remind Me....

I had a conversation the other day with someone
and it was eye opening for me..
I love this person very much and of course i value their
opinion but some things were said that really took me off guard ..
And when i got of the phone i started feeling doubt,insecure,fear..
My mind just kept going over and over the words that were
said...and the message that my heart felt &heard was
'your not enough, your life is meaningless..

Its strange how that happens to us..in Sunday school one
time our teacher(richard:) talked about how fickle creatures
we are, someone can say the most loving and uplifting thing to us
but the words we cling to and have the hardest time getting over 
are the poisoned ones. It just sticks! 
**2 things were happening in that conversation 
1. My worth was being attacked, 
in not so many words they were saying 
their opinion of me and my life..and of course it hurt 
2. I wanted to fight back! i had tons of venom just 
wanting to come out and tell them my opinion 
on their life and tell them how wrong they were..
but praise god something happened 
Seriously it was like i couldn't speak..as in his hand was over my mouth saying"be silent, love them, you know your words 
will do more damage and push them away...
See the thing is as much as they hurt me deep down 
i knew i had a resting place, 
a place of refuge in my fathers arms
that he would comfort me and remind me of who i am..
While this person does not have or 
understands this is available to them yet....
So my words would have hurt them 
more then i know and who knows what the outcome of  my words spoken over their life would have done. 
Believe me the temptation was so great to defend myself  to make 
them feel as bad as they made me feel..
But praise God i didn't! 
jeez because who am I..I dont
know what he is doing in their life. And i love them.
I just had to let it go.

I have been not only on the receiving end of this
but i have also been the one full of venomous words too many
I have seen the damage first hand and
it breaks my heart that i did it..

In a book 'the uncommon woman" it talks about David in the bible when he was being asked why he wouldn't stand up to Saul who was extremely jealous of him and he wanted to take Davids life pretty much..David said this "May the Lord judge between us.Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me,but I will never harm you". -I Samuel 24:12
I desire this so much to have a
heart like David a man/woman after Gods own heart!
This spring&summer i've been reading just out of Psalms
Reading,Learning how David talked and praised God 
Seeing how even in his darkest moments he cried out
for help and in the end he praised him through all
of it. He knew who he was, his identity was complete in him..
David in his time alone with God 
would even remind him of the promises made to him 
'look upon my suffering and deliver me..defend my cause and 
redeem me, preserve my life according to your promise!"psalm119
 David was not perfect 
but he was real,raw and passionate
in his approach to God.
Thankfully he continues to REMIND ME of who 
i am in him..because believe me i need his reminder 
 And i am so happy he covered my mouth:)
P.S on a much lighter but fantastic note I got to see my beautiful 
sister(brook) in her wedding dress today!! 
I am so excited its only 18 more days till the wedding!
* I also get to do her makeup for her big day and i have
another job this weekend doing
makeup for a beautiful bride her pretty mama and sister..
lots to look forward too:)

with much love, this girls journey!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I cant believe how long its been since i've written.
It has been a busy,fun,challenging month!!

Let me tell you whats happened...
James and I had our 10yr Anniversary July 29th!! 
We have come through so much that apposed us in our
marriage. God has and is continuing his mighty
work in us.And i really cant praise him enough 
for this!!

We also had Papa Tims 50th birthday that we
celebrated this month. Here is a picture of our fun dinner party..
 Also our kids started school!! Not just any school
but a Christian private school. My husband James went there too.We prayed long and hard about this decision and we knew God would give us a clear answerand he DID! 
The transition has gone so good. The kids have been happy and really just couldn't wait to get started.
Here are some pics of the little cuties:)

And last but 
Definitely not the least
two things that happened this month for us were
just Gods hand in motion in our lives. There really is no
other way for me to describe how things have so 
amazingly come together..
About over a year ago James and I prayed for a 
change. We knew our time in our previous city we lived in was coming to an end.. 
Financially things were hard, there wasn't work for my husband
and things were a real struggle. 
So a year ago almost to the day we moved back to were our families live. We moved into my mom and dads house..yep not the 
easiest thing but was and has been such a blessing. 
It allowed us to get our finances in order and pray and figure out 
where we were going with our lives.
We started attending our old church GL :)
We have had so much healing and restoration there. Our family feels so much love and support. Praise God:)
So after a year of my husband sending out resume after resume..
we almost gave up and felt we were really going to have
to move away somewhere james could find a job that could support our family..But God had something in the works because 
a week ago my husband started his new job!! Praise God and its with a wonderful company and its the perfect fit too:o)

So now where will we live?? Was my first question to my happy husband.. We talked and prayed. We knew it would make
the most sense to find something in Floyd..Seeing how now the kids go to school there, James work is there...so obviously we 
should live there right..
God is so funny to me at times, its like i could just see him smiling 
while all of this was coming together seriously! 
SOooooooo we called our real estate agent and asked if there
was anything available in Floyd. And do you know what she said 
"yes i think i know a house that is going to be perfect fit for you guys". We saw it and i had to laugh ,the house is only a block from the school, just a few blocks from my husbands job.
YEAH couldn't be more perfect is right!
Sitting empty 2years to the very same day we signed
and made a contract agreement!
But it has been a waiting game. That has on several occasions put me on my knees crying and praying that i'd have the right
mind set and peace about this if it doesn't work out.
 I have dreamed of having a home of our own for so long now that
at times it just seems so out of reach..
So i am just going to say it here first because saying it out loud will just make me bawl my eyes out............................
YES WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am in shock right now but i am beyond happy!!
We move in September 1st!!
The day cant come soon enough for us or the kids
my daughter jaz has already started counting down...:)

A year ago if you had told me this would all happened i would have had a real hard time believing it 

But when we made the decision to leave our hearts and plans
 in Gods hands..well things happen:)
And i realize this now more then ever here is where God is going
to build our foundation..
I trust you lord, you know what your doing.. i am just going to step aside:)

with much love, this girls journey!!