Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Remind Me....

I had a conversation the other day with someone
and it was eye opening for me..
I love this person very much and of course i value their
opinion but some things were said that really took me off guard ..
And when i got of the phone i started feeling doubt,insecure,fear..
My mind just kept going over and over the words that were
said...and the message that my heart felt &heard was
'your not enough, your life is meaningless..

Its strange how that happens to us..in Sunday school one
time our teacher(richard:) talked about how fickle creatures
we are, someone can say the most loving and uplifting thing to us
but the words we cling to and have the hardest time getting over 
are the poisoned ones. It just sticks! 
**2 things were happening in that conversation 
1. My worth was being attacked, 
in not so many words they were saying 
their opinion of me and my life..and of course it hurt 
2. I wanted to fight back! i had tons of venom just 
wanting to come out and tell them my opinion 
on their life and tell them how wrong they were..
but praise god something happened 
Seriously it was like i couldn't speak..as in his hand was over my mouth saying"be silent, love them, you know your words 
will do more damage and push them away...
See the thing is as much as they hurt me deep down 
i knew i had a resting place, 
a place of refuge in my fathers arms
that he would comfort me and remind me of who i am..
While this person does not have or 
understands this is available to them yet....
So my words would have hurt them 
more then i know and who knows what the outcome of  my words spoken over their life would have done. 
Believe me the temptation was so great to defend myself  to make 
them feel as bad as they made me feel..
But praise God i didn't! 
jeez because who am I..I dont
know what he is doing in their life. And i love them.
I just had to let it go.

I have been not only on the receiving end of this
but i have also been the one full of venomous words too many
I have seen the damage first hand and
it breaks my heart that i did it..

In a book 'the uncommon woman" it talks about David in the bible when he was being asked why he wouldn't stand up to Saul who was extremely jealous of him and he wanted to take Davids life pretty much..David said this "May the Lord judge between us.Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me,but I will never harm you". -I Samuel 24:12
I desire this so much to have a
heart like David a man/woman after Gods own heart!
This spring&summer i've been reading just out of Psalms
Reading,Learning how David talked and praised God 
Seeing how even in his darkest moments he cried out
for help and in the end he praised him through all
of it. He knew who he was, his identity was complete in him..
David in his time alone with God 
would even remind him of the promises made to him 
'look upon my suffering and deliver me..defend my cause and 
redeem me, preserve my life according to your promise!"psalm119
 David was not perfect 
but he was real,raw and passionate
in his approach to God.
Thankfully he continues to REMIND ME of who 
i am in him..because believe me i need his reminder 
 And i am so happy he covered my mouth:)
P.S on a much lighter but fantastic note I got to see my beautiful 
sister(brook) in her wedding dress today!! 
I am so excited its only 18 more days till the wedding!
* I also get to do her makeup for her big day and i have
another job this weekend doing
makeup for a beautiful bride her pretty mama and sister..
lots to look forward too:)

with much love, this girls journey!!

1 comment:

  1. Wow God is so amazing to put control over our tongues at the right moment! Great post andyour blog is supa cute :)