4 am feedings leave me exhausted the next day.
I have a hard time falling back asleep. All i kept thinking was no worries you'll have have a afternoon nap to recover…WRONG
My other baby girl Jasmine wakes up and her left eye is bothering her again
Which right away scares me. She had something in her eye previously and we thought whatever was in there came out. If she has a scratch or infection has happened sometimes it can lead to blindness if not treated…AAAHHHH!!! Mommy fears come out full blast!
The whole morning I'm a wreck. I'm so worried that my treatment of her eye previously will have hurt her eye even more. I get snappy with the boys. Already feeling like the worst mom EVER. I'm tired. I just want to cry. Jasmine cries so I cry. Now Violets crying because she's teething and obviously me just holding her is not enough.
What in the world!!!!!
In times like these i know exactly what i need to do..PRAY
But i more often then not forget that its exactly what i need to do at that moment.
So i spent how many minutes in fear and doubt.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27 NLT
This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 NLT
Just giving it all to him makes the weight of it all start to lift from my shoulders.
We have a apt this afternoon with the eye Dr. Praying and trusting that no matter what its going to be OK. Prayers are welcomed:)
In the meantime i have made peace with the fact that my afternoon has been altered. We will watch movies, eat yummy apple dip with apples, and if i doze off for just a few minutes i will be thankful..:)
My day, My plans, My children they are all in your hands God:))
|with much love,this girls journey|